#i'm personally going duck or normal human

[pomefioredove]

So idk if I'm requesting in the right place. But I would love a twst scenario with a yuu that just says all their intrusive thoughts. Like just out of NOWHERE, as they reach for a water bottle hanging out with the first years they go.

“I robbed a house back home”

Or when Azul tries cornering them with the twins for something they just blankly turn to Floyd going.

“duck off you look like you can't steer a shopping cart”

But feel free to do it with whoever you want and if you don't want to do mine that's perfectly fine and I hope you have a great day :)

certainly!!

summary: reader who speaks all their impulsive thoughts type of post: headcanons characters: heartslabyul, octavinelle, scarabia, diasomnia additional info: platonic or romantic, reader isn't specified to be yuu, reader is gender neutral author's note: for some reason I had the hardest time thinking up new nonsense, so many of these dialogue lines are from lewis carroll poems, which I have a wonderful nostalgia for. check those out as well!

Ace and Deuce are pretty much used to you saying whatever's at the top of your mind... with no filter

so used to it that it barely even registers with them anymore

whenever it's quiet, they can expect you to come out with some incomprehensible nonsense.

if you didn't, they'd probably ask what's wrong

"I robbed a house back home,"

"Yeah, okay,"

Riddle, on the other hand, gets frustrated alarmingly fast

despite running an entire dorm based on nonsensical rules, he has a low tolerance for outside nonsense

and... well, despite his name, he's not really a fan of riddles

Trey matches your energy immediately

no joke. he doesn't even bat an eye

"I eat plastic,"

"hm. sometimes I eat muffin wrappers,"

honestly, sometimes his tangents get even weirder than yours

Cater probably wasn't listening very closely when you first started going off, or maybe he's just become accustomed to riddles, though the next time you say something he just thinks it's cute

might use your "thoughtful anecdotes" as a caption for his next post

would it be surprising if I were to say Azul is used to randomness?

Floyd has a tendency to say the strangest things out of nowhere, after all, and the sea itself can be a surprising place

he does not, however, appreciate how you keep speaking in tongues when he's trying to have serious business conversations with you

(seriously, how hard can it be to swindle one person?!)

"Please, just talk normally,"

"But the mome raths outgrabe!"

he doesn't know what that means, but it sounds like an insult

...and then will refuse to converse with you again until you're in a "better mood" (in his own words)

Jade, on the other hand, finds you quite fascinating

he keeps a little notepad on him just to jot down the things you say. why? you can't imagine. he just finds it interesting, you suppose

"'Twas brilling..."

"Really? How interesting. Go on,"

Floyd isn't really paying much attention

your funny words amuse him at best and annoy him at worse

if you ever find yourself in a bad place with the octotrio, you can just say something like:

"You look like you can't steer a shopping cart,"

and Floyd will take actual offense to that, and just straight up leave

(much to Azul's dismay)

Kalim adds on right away

and keeps going

and keeps going... and keeps going...

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail..."

"Oh, I know! He pours waters on every shining scale,"

at one point Jamil has to pull you aside and beg you not to encourage him

"No promises!" is your answer

Kalim even buys a parrot to add onto the fun

it becomes a three-person (or two-person-and-a-bird?) act

...even if you're not really doing it on purpose

Jamil is who ends up taking care of the parrot while it squawks your old nonsense thoughts, though

he likes the parrot much better than either of you

Malleus will entertain you based on his own curiosity

none of his other human classmates speak in such odd and puzzling words, so he knows it's a "you" thing

might try to solve them if they sound like riddles

but he mostly just thinks they're cute

"O, oysters, come and walk with us,"

"How interesting... I do wonder where you come up with all this,"

Sebek will listen to you because Malleus does, and Silver has enough nonsense to deal with as it is. will definitely fall asleep while you're talking to him

Lilia responds in like terms

meow at him? he'll meow back

in fact, he'll meow at you every time he sees you until you say something else to capture his curiosity

might go ahead and start speaking to you in tongues before you even say anything

he just thinks you're neat!

[suzukiblu]

Day thirty-one of “Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it” behind the cut. Final day of the month achieved! Wrote about 32.5k of this WIP this month, which is much better than I thought I'd managed, so I'm pretty pleased about that. 💗 (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Did you seriously call it ‘cuddle-fucking’, though,” Kon asks with a snigger as he lowers his hands, and Bernard snickers and settles back flat on his feet, giving him another peck on the mouth. 

“Maybe we’ll workshop that in editing,” he says. “Like we might need a couple more rounds of editing to pull it off, but if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes.” 

“Only a couple?” Kon asks, pulling a mock-pout and wrapping his arms around Bernard's neck this time as he leans his weight into him. Like, not all of it, obviously, but if Bernard likes weight . . . “I dunno, man, sounds like quitter’s talk.” 

“God why do we not own a strap,” Bernard mutters under his breath, and Kon laughs even as his face heats up again. Sue him, the dude is very good at doing “cute as fuck” and “horny-inducing as fuck” at the same time. “Hush, you, I'm thinking of you here, do you know how terrible it is to have a just-human dick when a half-Kryptonian one needs satisfied?” 

“Not even slightly,” Kon replies with another laugh. 

“Well it's very tragic, I'll have you know!” Bernard huffs, and Kon laughs harder and then decides “fuck it” and just kisses him some more. Like–kind of a lot more? Like way, way more.

Well, like–Bernard doesn’t seem to mind, so it’s fine, Kon figures. Like it’s more than– 

He hears a camera shutter click, and his TTK immediately refocuses and he recognizes–

“Tim! Honey! Bastard! Did you know your boy could do the kissing thing?” Bernard demands, immediately breaking off the kiss to look over accusingly at Tim where he’s standing by the kitchen island with his camera while stabbing a finger into Kon’s chest to . . . make his point, Kon guesses? And honestly Kon would kinda like to still be kissing, but also Tim being in literally any room is incredibly distracting and almost definitely worth having less makeout time in his life. 

. . . god, it actually is, isn’t it, Kon reflects, and wonders if he has ever been a normal person in any way. 

“. . . I mean, there has been a significant amount of kissing this weekend, so yes?” Tim says, lowering his camera with a skeptical expression. “It was not in any way subtle.” 

“No, the TTK thing!” Bernard says indignantly. Tim gives him a blank look. Kon ducks his head a little and tries to figure out how mortified he’s going to need to be when the Bat-brain kicks in on this one. “Or did he not kiss you incredibly similarly to how I do, was that not a thing on your end?” 

Tim . . . pauses, and tilts his head. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Kon, have you been . . . feeling us kiss?” 

“Uh,” Kon says, and he’s pretty sure he’s never blushed so hard in his life. “I mean, like–it’s kinda hard . . . not to, man.” 

“. . .” Tim says. 

“I’m not trying to be weird about it, just like, when you’re both literally touching me while you’re kissing–” Kon attempts, and Tim very slowly lowers his head and buries his face against the back of his camera. 

“Ngh,” he mutters very, very quietly. 

Kon somehow manages to blush even harder, but he still doesn’t get what that sound’s about. 

[ask-spiderpool]

Hey mod, are you okay? It’s been a while since you posted (no judgement!) and I just wanted to see if something was wrong. Love you and I hope you stay strong🫶🏼

Bless you anon! I appreciate you checking in! I don't post a lot of personal updates here, but I have been going through the wringer lately... hough.

Lately I've been battling with anxiety, you know, same as everyone. It's kind of made things that I used to enjoy kind of stressful for me. Everything becomes stressful for me. Even not having things to stress about makes me stressed. I'm at my most Peter Parkeriest, in the worst sort of a way.

I thought it was a brain thing – that it was all in my head. I have a new, stressful job, and a stressful living situation, and some family issues I'm dealing with. It'll pass. So I kind of tried to power through, until my body shut down on me last year. And as it turns out, when I got checked out by the doc, it's not just a brain thing. I have a tumor (her name is Lamar, and she's benign, buuut...) she's producing 5x the normal amount of stress hormone in my body. The doctors think it's insane. I think it's hilarious. I feel like it's some kind of joke.

I've been battling this ridiculous chronic stress for years, thinking it was all in my head, but actually, biologically, I'm an overflowing reservoir of stress, and it's something that can be measured in my bloodstream. And it's been going on for years!

So, lately I've been devoting a lot of time to forcing myself to relax. Doctors orders. I can't get stressed about things. Every day I have to effectively diffuse a bomb. And the bomb is me. I'm so pumped up with involuntary stress, and I have to devote my time to keeping it at a manageable level. And so there are a lot of backflips I have to do to keep myself human right now, and not turn into a bomb.

See... posting to the blog doesn't exactly calm me down. It makes me anxious, most of the time. So I've been telling myself it's okay. Only post when you feel good. You have enough things to worry about, and the blog can't be one another thing to worry about. It can only be for fun. If it doesn't feel like fun, don't do it.

I need to do a million little calming activities to function. The blog used to calm me. But it doesn't, anymore. I still love it, and I still have so many scripts I'm excited to do, but... I just have to be patient with myself, right now. I can't bug my head over something that can wait. It can wait. Right now isn't the time. My health is the most important thing. I can't get that back, if I lose it.

Right now I'm about keeping my head above water. Keeping calm. Doing meditative things, that aren't necessarily productive... (trust me, I am SO upset about not being productive. I miss it a lot) but they force me to take it slow and force me to not worry. I'm learning the banjo (she calms me), and I spend a lot more time in nature, having staring contests with ducks and pigeons, and befriending beetles and bugs.

I'm a very positive person, and I know I'll make it through, and I love myself for all the effort I'm making to keep myself from breaking. Because I know if I didn't force myself to calm down, I could snap like an elastic band. I – I don't want to break, like I did last year. I need to be good to myself. And relaxing is an effort. It takes a lot for me. And certain calming routines work for a little while, and then stop working, and I need to make the effort all over again to find something new. It's kind of insane how much time I need to calm back down again. I remember, once upon a time, it being baseline.

Luckily there's a surgical solution, so hopefully I'll be normal again soon, and there won't be any more bees buzzing in my brain!

I hope you'll all be patient with me! And hopefully I'll make it out alive and stronger than ever, soon.

[kiame-sama]

(I'm about to write an essay, please feel free to ignore it)

Just binged your 'humans are extinct' TWST AU and. Wow. Where do I start? I've never seen something like this so fleshed out on this site? I've never seen such a long, serious series that treats all the characters with proper respect and stays pretty faithful to their canon personality and actions/reactions given what's been changed? I've never read long series on this site with the whole cast that has pretty much been fair with 'screen time' for each individual member? I've rarely seen something well though out and interconnecting with some seemingly trivial tidbits that turn into important details later on?

I absolutely adore what you wrote. I'm thankful you deigned to write down and share the story running through your brain for others to enjoy. The characters feel real and thee dimensional. The narrative is cohesive. The new additions don't feel out of place. The works.

Starting off with our MC. Poor girl! She's doing a lot better than I would have if I was in her place. Having to juggle almost 30 boys vying for her hand, plus a new adoptive child, plus poachers, PLUS being in an entirely new world where there's magic and she's the only human left with meltdowns happening almost every week and still staying (at least partially) sane and on goal? She has my respect. I love how she's not "a strong woman who don't need no man," nor is she "the poor damsel in distress who can't do anything on her own." She's in a bad situation: basically a sitting duck without the protection of the boys at NRC, and yeah, near the beginning, she kind of got dragged around like a doll. That makes sense though, and as she started getting familiar with the new world and her new guardians, she also started setting boundaries and enforcing them.

She won't let the boys walk all over her, but she's also generally respectful, kind, and pleasant to them as well. She's under no illusions and knows that even though they've got an unhealthy attachment to her, she still needs them to keep her safe. Beyond that though, even before she started absorbing blot and seeing memories, she was sensitive and able to see beyond their surface level flaws. I don't think she ever really thought Leona was a bad guy, even noting the dissonance between his threatening words and (sad? Resigned?) expression when first meeting him. She was willing to feed Ruggie regularly after finding out he was basically starving. She let Cater stay at Ramshackle and fought for him to get him back into the dorms at Heartslabyul even though she was still (rightfully) furious at him for basically putting her in potential danger for the rest of her stay in Twisted Wonderland because she felt his punishment was too severe given his crime.

That being said she also isn't one of those protagonists who forgive and forget all wrongs which is appreciated. She doesn't forgive murder attempts with a "Tee-hee it's alright anyone can change!" mentality. She also doesn't care much about those outside NRC if they don't first give her a reason to care about them. It makes her feel human.

I appreciate the way you wrote the conflicts as well. Most individuals here aren't one dimensional villains. They have reasons for doing what they do besides being a mustache twirling caricature written just to make MC suffer. Does it justify their actions? Ha! No. MC realizes this too, which I appreciate. If the current problem-child is a student, MC is good at helping them fix/find the root of their problem while still making sure they know their actions were out of line.

Moving on to the boys and the staff. Love them and their characterization. They're not perfect. They make mistakes. They're trying to get better. Character arcs and evolution. We love to see it. I mean this in the best way possible, but sometimes I read what a boy says or is about to do and just go "Bro .... Seriously?!" It's totally in line with their normal characterization, and the addictiveness of the human helps explain why they're going to certain extremes, but man, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

I like how you basically inverted the typical "who's safest to be around" scale due to the yandere instincts. Those who were already dangerous know how to keep those dark tendencies in check while those who weren't are now getting hit full force and don't know how to cope. It changes up the typical day to day cast so other characters get more of a chance to shine than the typical ones.

I feel like most boys so far have gotten a fair amount of time in the spotlight. The ones we've heard the least from are the Octavinelle and Scarabia boys as well as Epel. It makes sense for the Octavinelle and Scarabia boys since they haven't really had their mini arcs yet (and we've seen some of the Octa boys in action when it came to the Spelldrive incident + The first poachers incident). Epel also makes sense because Vil had his little episode outside of Pomefiore guarding hours ... But I hope to see him a little more in the future. No rush though!

I already have the adoption papers ready for Crewel and Trein. Vargas and Sam have cool uncle/older brother privilege. Crowley.... Exists.... Glad to see he's actually trying though. Papa Hades is a cool addition. He seems like a guy we could call at four in the morning to vent about our worries to without fear of judgement or our words reaching unintended ears. Mr. Bounty hunter is cool too, but I'm still on the fence about making him official family.

Malleus. I have so many thoughts about Malleus. Not many of them are nice. I like how you characterized him and I think it makes sense. Honestly his behavior seems at least somewhat in line with normal Malleus.... Just cranked up to eleven. That being said, I am about ready to smack him upside the head. I understand where he's coming from, I really do! But he's going about it wrong and his possessive behavior is really making me not like him. I'm glad he at least cares enough about MC that he's not going to marry/mate with her against her will, but also even what we've negotiated with him isn't enough. I personally would be so annoyed that we're basically his emotional support human. Like, Buddy. I don't want to be in close contact with you 24/7 or have to make deals to see you every other day so you don't get huffy and cause a storm. Please. Also the whole, "I'm gonna extend your life to match mine without telling you so we can be together forever" business? Yeah no, huge breach of trust. If I didn't know he'd likely overblot and kill me in a crime of passion, I'd ban him from seeing me for a year for that.

The Undying Ursas! There's still quite a bit we don't know about them, but they feel like an overarching plot detail that ties the story together nicely that's starting to get more notice that we're starting to settle into this world. Perhaps they'll have a key to help us get home?

Grim. I think your Grim is the least annoying version I've seen this far. Childish? Yes. But reading about him here doesn't make me want to bash my head into a wall and I've actually grown somewhat attached to the furball. I appreciate the bond MC has with him, and it's honestly quite sweet watching the two interact.

Small-ish head canon: I've noticed that Rielle got turned from an RSA student into Ariel just being a dude and I had an idea regarding him. What if Rielle was still an RSA student, but the twin/cousin to our prince Mahi-Mahi (hopefully soon to be sashimi) Erikir. He's interested in archeology/maritime and very introverted. He's been spoiled sweet (like Charlotte La Bouff from the Princess and the Frog) and is happy to please. Unlike Floyd and Jade who present outwardly as good twin and evil twin (secretly they're both 'evil') these two both present as 'good twins' but it's only true for Rielle. Outwardly, the two are nice to each other, but Eirkir secretly thinks Rielle is a pushover and weak minded. Erikir kept him away from the human by presenting the opportunity to guard the human as a burden, and offering to put in a word to let Rielle go out on a field trip to an excavation site during the Spelldrive tournament because Rielle isn't really that much of a sports guy. Maybe the two look alike, or maybe Rielle looks more like Prince Erik in a bit of dramatic irony. Regardless, there is a family resemblance in the way that those not close to them may get the two mixed up... It would be rather unfortunate if the human saw him and mistook him for Erikir.

Personalizing the story: It would be over so quick for me probably. I'd see the polite, (seemingly) mild-mannered Moray with his mushrooms on day two and fall head over heels. I'm unfortunately bad at hiding things and blunt as can be, so Malleus would probably go bonkers and kill me (and him) in a crime of passion. I don't think that a week one Malleus would be okay with, "I want to date this guy and probably eventually marry him though I'm fine with being your possession/family or whatever. Also I'm not interested in dating/marrying anyone else." I feel as though if you managed to survive to the end of the story, you'd get a fairytale ending... The issue is getting there.

Overall: Amazing. Love your work. Keep it up (no rush though). I will feast on whatever you write regarding this AU like Ruggie. Compliments to the Chef.

Genuinely, though, I DEEPLY appreciate the essay level of praise, it does mean a lot to me. I have quite the intense Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, so praise makes my nervous little heart full and happy. I am glad you are enjoying it, and I hope I don't disappoint!

On the topic of Rielle, when I first started writing the HAE AU, the only RSA students I knew of were Neige, Neige's seven Fae friends, Ambrose, and Che'nya. I made Erikír before I knew Rielle was a thing. But I like that idea of Rielle being Erikír's twin (the actual good twin). I already have Erikír's punishment planned out, but I can absolutely work in Rielle being genuinely good when the story eventually gets to Erikír's trial.

[p0orbaby]

more Arsenal x young r please

Birds and the Bees

summary: now matter how old you are, you’ll always be a kid to the girls

warnings: suggestive themes but nothing explicit

a/n: more you say

word count: 716

-

"Hold up, what is that?"

You frustratedly swat away the hands that pull at the collar of your hoodie. "Quit poking at it, Steph”

"Is that a love bite?"

"No, Steph, it's not. It's a 'didn't duck fast enough during a corner kick' bruise. Real thrilling, I know”. The team snickers, and you continue, "Anyone else got an investigative report they want to file on my neck? No? Good, let's move on”

Steph grins, "You sure know how to kill the vibe”

"I'm here for football, not to be the subject of a teenage gossip column," you retort, the edge in your tone really showcasing your opinion on the matter.

The locker room falls into a momentary silence before Katie dares to speak up, "Alright, tough cookie. But seriously, who'd dare to leave a mark on you?"

You scoff, "Someone who I don't actually mind invading my personal space. Now, can we get back to training or are we starting a tabloid in here?"

“I’m all for tabloid. I missed Love Island last night so I’m running low on gossip” Alessia says as she settles into her cubby, arms crossed and already invested. “Spill it”

“No! My personal life is none of your businesses”

“Teammates share everything. Don’t be boring”

You shoot Beth a glare, “Teammates share strategies, not the ins and outs of my love life, okay?”

Steph smirks, “Come on, we’re practically family here. No secrets. It’s the rules”

“The rules? Since when?” You argue.

Katie adds, “We’ve all got our stories, kid. But yours just got a bit more interesting and we’ve still got a few minutes ‘til training starts”

Alessia, ever persistent, grins, “We won’t judge. Promise”

You relent, knowing you weren’t getting out of this, “Fine, but this stays within these four walls. Her name’s Eden. Happy now?”

The room erupts into whispers and excited murmurs. Caitlyn leans in, “Eden? And what does Eden like to do in her spare time? Other than suck the living daylights out of your neck, that is?”

You shoot her a deadpan look, “Eden happens to enjoy normal activities. Reading books, going for runs, you know, typical human stuff”

Alessia smirks, “Sounds acceptable enough. How about you bring her to one of our games?”

You roll your eyes, “She’s not into football, Alessia. Besides, I don’t want any of you to meet her”

A collective gasp echoes around the room, and you can’t help but laugh at how dramatic everyone is being.

Beth raises an eyebrow, “Why not? Afraid we’ll scare her away or something?”

You scoff, “yeah, actually. And I really like her so I don’t want you guys to ruin this for me by being all weird and annoying”

“We’re not annoying!” Katie exclaims. “We just look out for you”

Steph adds with a grin, “Exactly, like big sisters. Speaking of which, we might need to give you the talk, you know, now you’re sucking face with someone”

“No. Nope. That’s it. This conversation has officially ended” you state, mortified.

Despite your attempt to escape, the team forms an impromptu blockade, preventing you from leaving the locker room. Steph locks the door with a theatrical click.

Beth smirks, “Looks like you’re stuck with us for a little while longer”

You shoot another annoyed glare at Beth. "This is not what I signed up for today”

Katie chuckles, "Consider it an intervention. You'll thank us later”

Steph adds, "Exactly, it's time for the birds and the bees I think. Big sister style”

"No way. That's not happening," you state firmly, crossing your arms.

Caitlyn, leaning against a locker, grins mischievously. "Oh, we've got to cover all the bases. Safety first”

You roll your eyes. "I'm well aware of safety, thanks. So, for the record, I don't need 'the talk’”

Alessia smirks, "Come on, it's a rite of passage. We all went through it”

Steph raises an eyebrow, "Wait, you haven't had 'the talk' yet?"

"Of course I have, I’m not a child” you snap.

Beth nudges Alessia, "Should we give her the pamphlet?"

Alessia nods in mock seriousness, "Absolutely. And maybe some diagrams for good measure”

You groan, "this is ridiculous. Can we please stop this. You’re all insufferable”

Steph grins, "Sure we can, just not quite yet. We all missed Love Island, remember”

[skele-bunny]

Just.......

I'm thinking about emotional support assigned ghouls again but specifically Dewdrop and Mountain and their relationship in the beginning.

Mountain came out kicking. Literally. Pissed off, teeth showing, not able to stand straight from how dizzy he was from the summoning portal. Immediately perceiving everyone in the room as a threat, all until that little fish stepped forwards. One that smelled of his home and similarly of his adoptive packs, their hands clasped together at their chest before slowly reaching forwards to take his hand.

Watching as he goes to his knees, big hands grabbing their hips, anger turning to confusion and curiosity as he tries to think if he's ever seen this freshwater before. Doesn't ring a bell but... They remind him of home. Bringing them closer, leaning over their head to lowly growl at the others who are watching.

"Shh... You're safe here." The water moving a little back and cupping a furry face. "Nothing will hurt you here. Or me. You understand, don't you?" In their shared tongue.

Dewdrop. His fish's name was Dewdrop.

Sitting in a much too small tub, fur and suds covering Mountain's line of sight but he's compliant and quiet as he feels Dewdrop scrubbing at him, softly singing to keep him calm and reassure. Eventually Mountain pulls him in and returns the favor, smiling as Dew starts purring and leans against wet fur to look up at him.

Mountain braiding Dew's hair, tail wagging as he gets to share something so intimate with him.

"—And this one is called a burger!" Dew's smiling so wide as he shows off what he got from the cafeteria for Mountain. "I didn't really know what your appetite is, or what you like, so I got one of everything. Is it okay?"

Mountain tilting his head, sniffing at each one before he looks at Dew and points at him. "Food."

"H-Huh?"

"Your food."

See, Dewdrop heard it as "you're food", face getting red and stiffening. Mountain just even more confused bc ??? "Fish? No?"

"Wait- Oh- OH!" Dew busting into laughter at his own mistake. "You're pescatarian? A water ghoul diet?"

"Yes."

"See, that makes SO much more sense." Dew taking the tray and leaving. "I'll be right back- with the right stuff this time!"

Mountain huffing as he's alone again, antsy once more as he wants to follow but he's still in a quarantine. Eventually Dew comes back and they end up sharing an overflowing tray of fish and sushi together.

"It's wasabi... It's hot..."

Bro starts coughing almost INSTANTLY and Dew's patting his back as much as he can wjkekd.

They're showering together, Mountain looking down and rumbling a bit as he gently scratches Dew's scalp. Looks up at him and smiles, tail ruffling and leaning back, hand touching his upper thigh. It was just a normal bodily response as Mountain got hard, fingers lightly trailing to Dew's jaw and admiring. Letting out a confused whine as Dew turned and got to his knees, a bit of nervousness over his body language and expression.

"I, uhm... I haven't had sex with an earth ghoul in a really long time. You have to go gentle with me, okay?"

Dew gets closer only to squeak as Mountain crouches down, frowning and poking Dew's forehead. "No. We're not having sex and you don't have to do that. I apologize. I'm not aroused. You just brushed on a sensitive spot."

He can see the little glint of a realized pain in Dew's eyes before nodding slowly. He's picked up and held tight in a hug. Mountain truly doesn't know the extent of how much that meant to Dewdrop, even after so many years.

Dewdrop holding his hand as he gives the tour of the ministry, being patient and answering any and all questions Mountain has; feeling a bit of pity as Mountain has to keep ducking to enter a majority of the common spaces.

"Sorry, I don't think they were prepared to have such a tall ghoul..."

"These humans are short, as are some of our fellows. I don't expect them to have to accommodate a single person over majority."

"Well, everyone deserves to be comfortable here. Just because a lot of people are smaller than you, doesn't mean you should have to be uncomfortable and bend over constantly just to get through a door."

Dew thinking a bit more. "Oh! I know the perfect place for you!! C'mon!" Dragging him back outside.

They end up at an old greenhouse, some of the panels broken and hidden in the woods. "This was here waaay before me. I think I'm the only one that's found it. There's so many abandoned places on the property so it's a bit of a fixer upper but... I thought maybe you should have a place too, you know? And!- and you can have so many plants in there! It's in the woods so, you know, your element!"

Mountain just smiles, watching Dew ramble and show the nearby shed, blabbering more and more about all the abandoned places he knows. They keep sneaking out to the greenhouse, Mountain slowly fixing it but constantly staring through the last panel that looks up at the stars, Dew curled up in his arm and head on his chest.

"It's so pretty out here..."

"It is."

And he's looking directly as Dewdrop who's unaware. "It's absolutely beautiful."

[lazycats-stuff]

Could you do one where batfam and batbro!reader are on a mission and reader gets hit with something that temporarily makes him half cat? Like ears, tail, teeth, stuff like that?

Sure thing anon. My poor reader... And also it seems that I'm in short oneshots era.

Summary: (Y/N) gets turn into a half cat.

Warnings: Cat features, but only temporarily, cat behavior, cursing.

The family was on a mission together. They were hunting down a crazy scientist. (Y/N) was reminded of Lazlo Valentine or professor Pyg if you will. He didn't like any of this and he did voice his concerns. Bruce knew that he needed everyone on this mission, no matter the personal concerns.

Bruce had a suspicion that the scientist did human experiments and his role model was Josef Mengele, the infamous Nazi doctor. Bruce knew what the doctor did and he knew that (Y/N) was clearly uncomfortable with the mission itself. He hated human experiments and he was deathly afraid of them.

(Y/N) and Bruce were going through the vents, while Damian and Jason distracted the scientist. Bruce and (Y/N) got out and walked quietly behind the mad scientist. Bruce got him down and they all managed to restrain him.

It was a great feeling.

But only for a moment. They didn't account for the fact that his victims would fight against them. Bruce didn't see a random man pointing what could be considered a laser. (Y/N) saw that it would be to late for him to duck so he jumped in front of him.

Bruce wanted to scream at him, but he couldn't get anything out. Time stopped and Jason tackled the victim down. (Y/N) felt very warm and weird.

" Hey! Are you okay? " Damian asked, crouching down next to him. (Y/N) was in a daze, clearly not looking good.

Time to travel back to the cave. Bruce stayed back with Jason, while the others started driving back to the cave. Well, Dick was driving. Now there was a chance they could make it in one piece.

Alfred checked him out and he was fine. Well, that was until he woke up and went to the bathroom.

He let out a manly scream as he took in his appearance. He had black cat ears and his teeth were sharper. He paled and had to sit down on the toilet. Okay...

Okay.

It was going to be okay.

A knock on the door made him jump. Nope.

" (Y/N), are you okay? " Bruce asked. " I heard you scream. "

" Well- "

" Are you decent? " Bruce asked, the door knob moving.

" Yes, but don't come in! "

But it was too late already. Bruce came in and his jaw dropped down a little. (Y/N) cringed.

" Umm... Okay, I wanted to tell you that the laser effect will be gone in a week. " Bruce started, walking closer to (Y/N). He reached for (Y/N)'s new ears, gently touching them.

(Y/N) didn't expect to like it so he purred instinctually. Bruce and (Y/N) looked at one another in shock. What the fuck?

" Bruce... "

" I know. But what you need to do is eat now. Come on. " Bruce said, leading (Y/N) to the dining room. (Y/N) was anxious for about 10 people.

And once they did come, the reactions were... Well, Jason spat out the water he was drinking, Tim looked at his coffee as if it was spiked, Damian's jaw dropped a little and Dick just raised his eyebrows.

" He will be back to normal in about a week. " Bruce explained and (Y/N) sat down. He sighed, rubbing his face.

Jason just smirked to himself, thinking about all of the ways that he was going to make things worthwhile.

[dragoncoven]

Dumb Transformers One Headcanons That I Thought Of Instead Of Being A Normal Person

Warnings: Language. Talks of death and murder, but nothing worse than what has already happened in the movie. Sentinel "Prime" deserves his own Trigger Warning.

This one is mainly for if they ever go to Earth/can be applied to other versions of Transformers: the one vehicle that no transformer can take after as an alt form is the Tesla Cybertruck. That vehicle is so much of a mechanical failure that it's physically impossible for any of them to even scan it. If anyone tried to transform into one, they would get contorted into a metal cube- like the ones that Wall-e makes- and it would take several medics to undo the damage. That's how bad it is and IRL I'm convinced that the so-called "truck" is made of garbage cans and fancy duck tape. They're better for being used as flying projectiles to hit Decepticons with. The owners can just get a new one.

Like the Bumblebee movie, TF One Bee would get his name from a human he befriends during a visit to Earth. The friend would still call him Badassatron every now and then when in a joking mood.

Pompeii by Bastille, especially the MMXXIII version, would make Optimus Prime cry like a baby.

I've been thinking and reading theories on why Bee was sent to Sublevel 50 since I first saw the movie. From the simple "probably pissed off Darkwing" to "accidentally uncovered something related to Sentinel Prime's treachery", but guys what if it's both? Like Bee loading the "trash" crates onto the trains like we see in the movie, but somehow bumps into Darkwing and a bunch of energon spills out from the crate. He is taken in and reported to Sentinel, who tells Darkwing to yeet Bee down the trash chute. The Blue Bastard joyfully agrees to do so since Bee has pissed him off multiple times on other jobs. He even plays a cruel joke by telling the optimistic bot that he's got a new job for him. The whole energon debacle was forgotten over time by Bee until he goes to the surface and uncovers the truth.

Speaking of Darkwing, he runs away from both Autobots and Decepticons fearing punishment from both leaders (Optimus would put him in jail for abuse to minors and aiding and abetting Sentinel like in the headcanon above, Megatron would just give him the old Kit-Kat treatment) and would end up being spotted by the Quintessons. He's the first Cybertronian they have seen since Sentinel promised them more energon so they kidnap and question him about why they haven't received any shipment since then. They kill him after Optimus sends them that message at the end of the film saying that they won't be receiving any more energon and leave his scrapped body on Iacon's doorstep as their war declaration. Sorry that was a little dark, but I just hate the dude. Not as much as I hate Sentinel, but it's pretty close.

Speaking of Blue Bastards, Sentinel's wings are add-on upgrades that were mainly for cosmetic purposes and that's why they seemed to come off so easily when D-16 was fighting him and they both crashed to the ground.

D-16 would have mained King Dedede in Smash Bros. Dont ask me why. I just like the way "dee" sounds.

Referring to the second Bee headcanon, Sentinel did tell Darkwing verbatim to "yeet B-127 to Sublevel 50 or something, I don't care just make sure he doesn't leave". I hate them so much I hope they both die in agonizing ways (Thank you Megs for taking out the trash).

Sometimes, in order to convince D-16 to get involved in his shenanigans, Orion Pax would bring out the puppy-dog eyes and Dee is helpless against it. He does manage to build up an immunity against it and that's why Orion didn't use it to convince him to participate in the race.

Optimus would later regret that part of his life because Bee uses his own puppy-dog eyes to convince him to give him extra missions or a cookie or something.

Elita trained Badassatron in fighting and also helps him realize when someone is being mean or taking advantage of him, that boi is naive even after the movie.

Anyone caught, tried, and convicted of knowingly helping Sentinel Prime with his evil acts (so Airachnid and those golden drones if they were sentient) during his reign is sentenced to 2 eons (or whatever is considered a very long time for transformers) of jail time with community service, stuff like building new housing quarters for the newly cogged former miners and tearing down whatever Sentinel statues weren't blasted off by Megatron and the High Guard and cleaning up after the ones that did. Optimus Prime may be trying to be peaceful and forgiving but he ain't a wuss.

Those who managed to slip through the cracks of the Iacon's new Justice system still become social pariahs and even if they join the Autobots in the coming wars, no one ever fully forgives them.

Because depending on how Cybertronians are born, I find it hard to believe that Sentinel managed to be there to take every t-cog out of every bot before they onlined. He probably paid off some nurses or something to do his dirty work for him.

Elita destresses after every day by doing something completely unrelated to kicking ass and taking names- writing crack fanfic of the Primes. She keeps it private and publishes under a pen name- especially when her former-worst-employee-in-the-world becomes a Prime. No one can ever know.

Bee finds out when using her computer because she forgot to close the Cybertronian equivalent to Microsoft Word. Everyone in Iacon knows who writes the funniest Prima×Megatronus fics by the end of the day.

Orion is a semi-constant reader, but once recognized a scene from one of her stories because he and D pulled that exact same stunt once and Solus reacts the same exact way that Elita did to them. As Optimus Prime, he now knows why he got deja vu.

No one makes fun of Elita for it, but she gets hounded by fans of her writing so much that she threatens to knock out the next person who brings it up to her in person. Despite this she keeps her Cybertronian A03 account alive and even still makes posts. Though she borrows less from her private life now.

She also absolutely refuses to write anything about Optimus Prime because that's her friend.

Bee learns better control of his knife hands over time and cooks with them now. Wait. Do Transformers even cook meals like us humans do? They have energon cubes in all sizes but that's the only thing we've seen them eat so far. Do they try anything with the plants and animals that they find on the surface? Cyber-deer venison, anyone?

I'm gonna cut my ramblings off now. Maybe there'll be a next time. Idk.

[solidaritygaming-fanblog]

(using u as my own personal soundboard rubber duck method yada yada ya if anyone wants this u can have it)

SO villain/vigilante jimmy au

like no one suspects him. why would they? it's jimmy. sweet jimmy, harmless jimmy, can barely keep himself alive jimmy. jimmy the normal guy, the civilian in this au (which I have now decided is a modern day superhero au ig)

Jimmy? a (kind of) villain? dude cries over babies and kittens and despite being afraid if spiders always asks that they get taken outside rather than killed. the man is so oblivious. he isn't even. aware that basically all of his friends are involved in the superhero life (hero, antihero, vigilante, villain or otherwise) obviously he must be protected. everyone on all sides agrees that Jim's little shop (birdie bakes? codfathers chippy? big man flowers idk dude I'm bad at names u choose) is a neutral zone. everyone has to play nice. can't break poor timmys heart after all

but canary? the harbinger if chaos? oh he's bad. the domino that sets everything in motion leaving destruction in his wake. it's not so bad, most of the time. sure there's a lot of injuries and trauma but rarely any death. except when there is. except when ur reminded that canary isn't just a prankster who likes causing property damage but someone who has a body count. someone who is truly terrifying when he wants to be. someone who's casual, friendly disarming demeanor should not EVER be mistaken for harmless.

his identity is anyone's guess really, no other villain has seen what he looks like or gotten even a hint if a name. most are too afraid to ask and the ones that aren't (or so they insist) haven't asked either. not because they're afraid of having the canary on their bad side of course they just not interested. totally that and nothing else

(they're terrified. after all, he's an unknown that everyone knows isn't all that stable. a ticking time bomb. a canary in the coalmine, that has everyone afraid they'll miss his silence until death catches up with them. no one knows anything, and it is only human nature to be afraid of the unknown)

somehow, canary is able to thwart almost any plan aimed at him. this makes him all the more terrifying. after all, the man seems to know their every move. is he a traitor? does he have access to their plans their bases, their identies? even the villains are unnerved. after all, they haven't exactly escaped unscathed either. sometimes, canary is gunning for them explicitly and many a villain has lost a base or two to the man

(the small listening devices planted in bags, within gifted potted plants, wherever, are too small to be discovered unless one is looking very, very carefully. but why would they? it's just a gift from jimmy. lovely, sweet, harmless jimmy).

and the heroes about to plan a big bust of canary's base? well they've come down with a little bit of food poisoning or smth. nothing too harsh, just enough for them to be taken out of the field. just enough time for canary to catch wind and pack up and move before anyone can prevent it. big villainous plan going up in literal flames that not only steals Ur thunder but leaves u on bed rest bc of the burns? at least jimmy gives out free stuff and a hug when ur down

(and Jimmy loves his friends, cares for them a lot. but he is a survivor and will do anything to make sure he never has to feel powerless, to feel like he is less than anyone or anything. he loves his friends but he knows they see him as less, as an outsider, as weak. as a thing that needs to be protected, rather than protected against. so the addicting rush of adrenaline from pulling of a heist, destroying a whole street, from leaving a trail of blood in his wake whenever he's feeling particularly villainous is made so much sweeter when it's done right under their noses

it's a wonderful feeling, testing the limits of your power when no one, not even you, knows where they lie - especially when they're terrified to find out how far you're willing to go)

rubber duck method! I can't wait to see this

Yes. 100 hundred percent yes.

Its just Jimmy! He would never hurt them :)

[flightfoot]

hi ! are there any chloé character studies you particularly like/want to recommend ?

You mean in terms of fics? Hm...

I'm gonna stick with just complete fics here.

---

A Queen's Stripes by @liiinerle

And Marinette kept protesting and pulling and whining and being generally a pest the whole time, until Chloé threw her through the doors to the changing rooms and slammed her into a locker, and put one hand on either side of the baker girl’s head. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said, adding as much dripping contempt to her tone as she could muster. But honestly, she was still angry, and it just didn’t come off right. Anger wasn’t contempt, it was — anger. Marinette shrank. She didn’t try to duck under Chloé’s arms, and she didn’t try to kick or push. Like always, she just stood there like a little wet kitten. “... Are you… are you going to stuff me into a locker again?” --- Chloé is upset that Lila is stealing her thunder when it comes to bullying Marinette. Desperate to claw back control over the baker girl, she hatches a plan with Marinette to lie straight back at Lila - because the truth obviously isn't working. When Marinette accepts, Chloé is delighted - but her delight turns to ash in her mouth as she realises that hanging out with Marinette on equal terms is actually more fun than trying to ruin the girl's life. A Chloé redemption/Lila exposed fic that doesn't salt on anyone.

So this is really interesting. The fic uses some old saltfic tropes, like the idea that Chloe can see through Lila while Marinette's friends can't, but in different ways from normal. For instance, Chloe isn't suddenly a nice person just because she's also opposing Lila and doesn't like what she's doing to Marinette. The story maintains the canon of Chloe being just this horrifically awful bully to Marinette in the past. She just doesn't like seeing someone else moving in on someone she kind of considers hers. She actually is hoping to still subjugate Marinette in a way, with maybe getting Marinette to become one of her followers, kind of like Sabrina is.

But this isn't just "Chloe is a horrible person" either. She slowly comes to realize that she doesn't LIKE seeing Marinette hurt and scared of Lila, that she doesn't like Marinette being hurt and scared at all, and that she, herself, has caused this same sort of torment in Marinette, and THEN some.

On top of that, she constantly scorns Marinette's friends, badmouthing them for not realizing what's going on with Lila, calling them stupid for not seeing through them, thinking that she, herself, is Marinette's only true ally, saying and thinking the sorts of things that Chloe often does in Class Saltfics when she's made into Marinette's best friend.

Except Marinette doesn't AGREE with that. She wishes her friends were less prone to falling for Lila's lies, but that doesn't mean she thinks terribly of them, or that she likes Chloe attacking them. Especially since Chloe still doesn't feel safe to her. Yeah, Chloe's believing her and helping her, but Chloe just putting her into this "safe zone" and feeling righteously entitled to bully or insult anyone else... it's not a pleasant feeling, and she doesn't know when Chloe will take her out of the safe zone and go right back to bullying her again.

The class are also pretty reasonable here, and love and respect Marinette a lot, and are genuinely friends with her and want good things for her. But they also don't believe she's infallible (and she very much ISN'T infallible).

I just... I really love how this fic deconstructs a lot of the usual saltfic tropes, keeping people reasonably in-character, and allowing for better, nicer, kinder resolutions, with some great exploration of Chloe's character and a gradual redemption as well.

---

It's Always Her, With You by leavetheperfumeontheshelf

Everyone criticizes Chloé. Sabrina, of all people, knows it's for good reason.

I like how this fic shows Chloe's humanity, displaying the insecurities she'd sometimes show with Sabrina. It doesn't make up for everything she did, but it means that Sabrina can't just think of her as being some monster, like the other kids seem to.

---

Hanahaki by @generalluxun

First fic: Late Bloomer

On what might very well be the last night of her life, Sabrina Raincomprix pulls out a very special scrapbook, pressed between the pages is the past, the past she has never shared with anyone. She relives how she got to this moment one page at a time, preparing herself for the end. A phone call interrupts her self-imposed exile and brings news that could change her life forever. Even if it does though the question looms... change it how?

I love this series, how it shows how both Sabrina and Chloe have changed, how bad Chloe's circumstances are, and how much she needs help. She's not in good shape when Sabrina reunites with her - she's got a pretty severe eating disorder, for one thing - and Sabrina can't just... leave things like they are.

I love the delving into of Chloe's and Sabrina's psychology and viewpoints, and them both growing as a result (this is solely from Sabrina's perspective, but Chloe's the focus of the plot, so you see a lot of her).

---

In Direct Opposition by @generalluxun

Alya Cesaire is a brand new student to Francis Dupont, to Paris even. The first student she meets is one Chloé Bourgeois, and Alya is determined to make a friend. Things advance Chaotically. Her new 'friend' is definitely a handful, and suddenly Paris has a supervillain and two brand new superheroes! Alya finds herself balancing a lot of things, trying to live up to her ideals and those of her icons. And then reality seems to contradict itself. As time progresses it seems to happen more often. Becoming a hero, battling villains, staying alive, working through friendships. Something is lurking, tweaking events at times, changing them, and no one seems aware. Alya will need all her wits to get to the bottom of this. Her investigative mind can only get her so far though, and then she needs to rely on her friends. This is not a foe you can beat head on.

I betaed this entire fic, it’s really good! I adore the focus on Alya’s philosophy here, her determination to be a hero, to help people and defeat evil - and that defeating evil means trying to reform the people doing bad things when possible, to try to save EVERYONE, even the “villain”. I thought it was really clever the ways Alya would redirect Chloe and subtly encourage her to be a better person, while also trying to get the people around her to give her a second chance and keep an open mind.

Also Alya and Chloe are an adorable sapphic couple XD.

[edwards-exploit]

HUMAN AU MORNING COMMUTE HEADCANONS

Strap in everyone, it's a long list.

MAIN LINERS

Gordon, Henry, James (lives in Tidmouth) - carpools in Gordon's Mercedes-benz. James is a passenger princess. Henry wishes he isn't here. Gordon goes over the speed limit when authorities aren't looking even though it's at most a 20 minute drive or something.

Rosie (lives in Vicarstown) - Motorcycles there. Her ride is a cherry pink customised bike with rose decals.

Donald and Douglas (lives in Arlesburgh) Takes one of the connecting trains from Arlesburgh to Tidmouth. Refuses to take the bus as they don't want to deal with Bulgy.

Diesel (lives in Knapford) - motorcycles there in a Vespa. It's painted black and you KNOW this guy has a vanity plate (D13S3L)

BoCo (lives in Wellsworth) - Takes the train from Wellsworth to Tidmouth. That, or he drives there with his Skoda Octavia Estate.

Bear (lives in Tidmouth) - yknow the loudest motorcycle you can think of? Bear has that, and he usually drives to Tidmouth that way.

Works Diesel/Warren (lives in Vicarstown) - Just walks there like a normal person. Or uses the tramway.

Charlie and Billy (lives in Knapford) - rides a bike for two but it's the most goofy looking bike ever

Emily (lives in Tidmouth) - Bikes there! Occasionally carpools with the Big Engine Drivers.

Murdoch and Neville (lives in Brendam) - Carpool together in Murdoch's Volkswagen Beetle, and after dropping Neville at Wellsworth...

Molly and Hank (lives in Knapford) - They meet up with Murdoch and walk all the way to the sheds!

Rebecca (lives in Tidmouth) - She skips there. No, not jogs, not runs. Skips. She somehow gets there first nearly every time.

Hiro (lives in Vicarstown) - Takes the tramway! Has struck up a friendship with fellow tram takers Warren, Victor, Kevin, and Den and Dart.

Victor and Kevin (lives in Vicarstown) - also takes the tramway! That, or Victor rides his motorbike with a sidecar attached for Kevin to sit in.

Diesel 10 - straight up lives in the dieselworks.

Den and Dart (lives in Vicarstown) - Takes the tram, or uses their Honda Jazz.

Philip (lives in Wellsworth) - Carpools with BoCo, or he takes the train!

Sonny (lives in Vicarstown) - Drives a motorcycle there. Sometimes visits Ruth in Knapford for repairs, and they struck a friendship.

Pip and Emma (lives in Vicarstown) - Drives there with their Mercedes-AMG SL 48, music blasting all the way.

THE BRANCH LINE LEAGUE

Brendam

Edward (lives in Wellsworth) - Walks, or rides a bike! After getting injured during The Exploit, he takes the bus more often)

Bill and Ben (lives in Brendam) - rides a horse. No, I'm serious. At first it was a prank but they trained it so well. The China Clay Pits have a fucking stable coz of this.

Timothy and Marion (lives in Brendam) - They carpool together. In Marion's forklift.

BoCo again (lives in Wellsworth) - Walks with Edward! After the Exploit, he buys a two person bike and rides it with Edward when Edward's leg pain flares up.

Nia (Lives in Knapford) - Takes the bus there, or uses the main line stopping trains.

Derek, Harvey, Salty, Paxton (Lives in Brendam) - Takes the bus together!

Neville again (Lives in Brendam) - Carpools with Murdoch, or takes the bus!

Ffarquhar

Thomas, Percy, Toby, Henrietta (lives in Knapford) - Usually carpools in Toby's dinky little Wolseley Ten. However, individually... Thomas rides a bike, and Percy jogs.

Daisy and Mavis (lives in Elsbridge) - Mavis picks up Daisy with her badass motorcycle and drops her off before going to the Quarry.

Bloomer (lives in Elsbridge) - Walks. Takes in the sights and sounds and ends up late much to Thomas' endless frustration.

Splatter and Dodge (lives in Ffarquhar) - They walk there but always ends up lost in the middle. Mavis wonders why they aren't always late.

Arlesburgh

Duck, Donald, Douglas, Oliver (lives in Arlesburgh) - Carpools there in Oliver's Rolls-Royce Cullinan. They fight over the radio.

Other Branch Lines

Arthur (lives in Kirk Ronan) - is environmentally conscious, and bikes to his workplace!

Ryan (lives in Arlesburgh) - Drives a dinky, yet fancy car. It's purple. He named it Vera.

Stanley, Flora, and Sidney (lives in Great Waterton) - after Sidney gets lost for the nth time Stanley and Flora agreed to walk together- they're neighbours, anyway.

[the-fyre-flie]

If I start just delusionally posting about my DC OC as if he's in the DC universe, will Tumblr be kind to me?

Anyways, here's Reeve Horncross, 15 year old hobbiest stage magician and Baffle, the unknowable, incomprehensible eldritch trickster/chaos god!

I'm not a very good artist, so bear with me... he's got brown hair, brown eyes, and only has rabbit ears when casting magic due to trickster god shenanigans!

Powers: Teleportation to anywhere (dimensions included, whenever Baffles been, Reeve can go, breathable atmosphere or gear is needed tho), Transmutation (That street lamp is now a giant sprinkler! Isn't that so funny and cool? The dog is now a cat!), mild precognition (Baffle is all knowing, Reeve is not. Baffle just occasionally tells Reeve what's going to happen), and obviously, magic casting without the need to say spells cuz Reeve is using Baffles powers!

Weaknesses: Physical attacks (Reeve is still just a kid, he's not strong or anything), anything that would hurt a normal human (see above), and Too Much Logic (Baffle is just personally very adverse to it lol).

Not a weakness per say but due to the whole part about Baffle having Reeves soul and acting as a soul during casting, the two cannot be separated for long without risking Reeves body. He can't function without a soul, and so proximity to Baffle is a must. Reeve *will die* if Baffle is away from him for too long. The only issue with separating them is that one is a chaos god and the other is an escape artist with stage magic tricks. Ones turned the cage into silly puddy and the other unlocked the cuffs you put him in 2 minutes ago and is only humoring you.

The backstory is as follows:

Reeve attends some random normal high-school, he's like a C average student, but he utterly adores magic. The only issue is he doesn't think *magic* magic is real, and his true passion is in stage magic. Slight of hand. The performance of it all. He knows hundreds of card and coin tricks, and he gets bullied for it. He finds an old book in a thrift store that seems to have a bunch of pictures about magic tricks, but the words on each page are always shifting and are literally unreadable. He decided to try and perform one of the 'tricks' during a school talent show, only to accidentally summon a demon that possesses him and runs a rampage. He freaks out, but suddenly, a smokey figure appears before him and offers him a deal. His soul in exchange for this figure fixing everything. Reeve takes the deal, loses his soul, gets exorcized of the demon, and when the smoke clears, he's staring at a weird talking blue rabbit who's all like "Yeah so cuz I have your soul now, we're bonded forever. You're my new magic conduit." Basically, this trickster god was really bored and decided to help so they can have a human to mess with. Except this chaos entity thinks Reeve is pretty chill. Oh, also, their name is so non-human attempting to pronounce it will drive you mad, so they go by Baffle. Now, Reeve can cast magic using Baffle as a stand-in for a soul, which caused him to gain bunny-like features (purely for Baffles enjoyment). Baffle will say they're using Reeve as a "vessel for my sick and twisted chaos!!! Mwuahahaha!" but the worst chaos they ever cause is mild pranks like buckets of water perked in doorways or glitter bombs. Reeve becomes a hero using Baffles magic and Baffle is just along for the ride cuz it's been millenias since they've done anything this entertaining. Baffle genuinly likes Reeve and is borderline protective of him, restricting magic usage to "only what's necessary and/or funny!". Despite being an eldritch god, Baffle isn't all that powerful compared to other divine beings.

Reeve, sat in math class: .... *groaning in boredom*

Baffle, who's currently curled up in his backpack, floppy ears barely visible out the top: You should duck.

Reeve: Huh? Why?

Baffle: Alien invasion.

Reeve, trying to not get caught talking to the rabbit in his backpack: Dude what the hell does that-

(Explosion from outside as he barely ducks in time to avoid flying debris and glass.)

Baffle: I told you so.

Reeve, scooping up his backpack with Baffle peeking over the top, immediately running down the hall and outside: Yeah whatever. Magic me.

Baffle: Needy, needy. *Jumps from the bag into Reeves chest, cue magical girl transformation into Reeves hero costume + ears and they start kicking ass*

[the-haunted-office]

( @not-that-dillinger - Continued from here!)

The little Thursday icon makes an expression very similar - if not identical - to one that Doomsday often makes when she's kind of taken aback by something and doesn't know what to say for a few seconds. She presses her lips together and pushes them outwards in a vague resemblance of a duck's bill, and her eyes go a little wide as she just stares and blinks.

Malicious. He thinks she's... malicious. As in... malicious... computery... stuff? Like... as in... a virus?

While it's true she could probably mess around in his computer and cause a mess of things, she doesn't know that much about computers - not that much - not enough to make a targeted attack. The worst she could do is pick up a bunch of his files and drop them everywhere, make him have to do some of that good old fashioned defragmenting or whatever. Do people even do that even more? Defragment their computers? Hell if she knows, and that should be enough to say exactly what all she knows about computers these days, which is fuck-all.

As it is, after standing there on his desktop like that for a few seconds, lips pressed together, blinking and staring at him, she whirls into action. "Right! Sorry about that," she replies, and is gone in a little poof of pixels, taking the star icon on his desktop with her, and all traces of it so that it's as if it never was there in the first place.

Moments later, after he's gotten dressed, the icon reappears, this time in his room, the pixels all huge now, and out from that icon Thursday pops up, like a chipmunk popping up out of a hedge. She's still pixelated too, but as soon as she fully emerges, the star icon disappears and her resolution becomes sharper and sharper until she looks like a normal person standing there, a fully human version of the little desktop version of herself.

"Okay, hello! Is this better?" she asks, smiling as she brushes herself off needlessly. "And I didn't mean to imply that I was judging anything you were doing in the privacy of your own room. I was apologizing for the invasion of your privacy because it had just dawned on me that I could have like, accidentally set us up for some kind of really awkward moment, ahahaha. ....Not that this isn't some kind of really awkward moment, but you know what I mean. Anyway! Like I was saying, I just wanted to meet you and I wasn't sure how to go about doing it without causing a huge fuss, but I guess I went a messed that up anyway. I'm still trying to figure these things out. But yeah, hi! I'm Thursday. Just like the day of the week. And ah... yeah, sorry for the cybersecurity scare."

[gowns]

i have made a very funny journey w/ autism which is like...

growing up, mom always tells me she thinks i'm autistic or (90s euphemism pop psychology thing) that i have "einstein syndrome"

and yet she never gets me tested

various accommodations are made for me in school - i am clearly "smart" but also kinda just "doing my own thing" and the teachers are either annoyed but give in to my mom browbeating them, or give me good grades for thinking outside of the box

(various cycles of hyperfixations and limerence and burn out later)

one of my best friends realizes they are autistic and we see the world the same way so we both go "hmm" about that for a while

i maintain i couldn't possibly be autistic because i have worked with high-needs autistic people* *i also tend to be very adept at working with autistic people

i notice that my older child (whose personality is identical to mine as a kid) seems to show signs of high functioning autism

eventually read devon price and other books and take the tests and etc and i'm like hmm ok i guess i have autism

by this point i am so keenly Aware that i am Neurodivergent and maybe that's why i seem to operate in a different reality than a lot of other people, that it seems hard to remember a time when i thought i was "normal" and trying hard to be "normal"

like now i'm just owning being an odd duck and needing my funny little ways of recharging and having fun

and now i find i'm actually a bit annoyed at various influencers who talk about discovering that they have autism because sometimes they don't want to go to parties or w/e and i'm like. "hmm. but is this the same flavor as the thing i have? idk what kind you have but i'm clearly on another level of it."

(very silly, i went to gatekeeping one side of the gate to gatekeeping on the other side of the gate. hahaha.)

anyway, i try not to be judgmental, it's just interesting that autism and adhd are en vogue right now. #relateable.

i still maintain that the bigger problem is Society. like, having tiny computers in our pockets combined w/ unreasonable employers who want you to be Focused on a Task for 8 hours are definitely doing things to our brains and making us feel deficient if we can't do Productive things. and then the pings. ping. ping. ping. check this. do that. ping. ping. ping.

and then it's like -- when people figure they must be neurodivergent because they take a moment to pause and dip out of the constant noise and they're like whoa i feel better for a moment -- well of course, taking a nap in the middle of the day feels good. it feels good to spend some time alone and in solitude when most of your day is responding to PINGS. and guess what, microdosing meth feels good, weed feels good, looking at wikipedia or reddit instead of doing work feels good, etc etc. the fact that adderall feels good =/= your brain works "different" or is "defective" in some way.

ok. you're probably different. sure.

it's like the same basic question of literature, theatre, art, of the last 400-odd-years, what is a human, what makes me tick, why do i feel a separation between me and others, what is that other person even thinking, why are we both looking at each other like "you're insane"? why are the motivations and inner workings of this other person so inscrutable, and mine are so comfortable and infinitely knowable?

--

however. all that being said. i think it may eventually come to a point where more people are considered neurodivergent than neurotypical, and hopefully, you would think, that would mean more accommodations, which would mean society as a whole would be more accommodating towards disability.

but i fear that on the other end, it may end up in situation where otherwise-typical people with an immense amount of privilege (e.g. average white americans) figure out how to weaponize incompetence (so to speak) and automate more labor away from them and giving the global lower classes more grunt work to shoulder. all while not acknowledging the true source of that "i don't belong" feeling ... and creating more alienation ... hmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM

--

all that being said, it's fun to share autistic memes with friends

[bluefox4]

So, I'm reading the Animorphs books for the first time. This is not a blind reading though. My older sibling is @emeraldmew so I have heard a lot about this series from her already. I know the shape of how things go.

Oh, I have seen the Animorphs TV show, too. Some as a kid on TV and later as an adult finding it on YouTube. I can see why the TV show had um issues making the aliens for the show.

But the thing that I wanted to post about is actually the descriptions that we get of the aliens and their spaceships within the first 6 chapters. Just since they are interesting. And it helps me actually have an idea of what they are supposed to look like by transcribing and pointing out details. So the aliens.

Let's start with the good alien species: The Andalites.

The spaceship is the first thing that we see.

First of all, it wasn't all that big. It was about as long as a school bus. The front end was a pod, shaped almost like an egg. Extending from the back of the pod was a long, narrow shaft. There were two crooked, stubby winglike things, and on the end of each wing was a long tube that glowed bright blue on the back end. The little spaceship looked almost cute. You know, kind of harmless. Except that it had a sort of tail -- a mean-looking tail that curved up and forward, coming to a point that looked as sharp as a needle. (p. 9)

I like the design details that we are given about the spaceship. It is clearly not made by humans. Interesting to give your spaceship a tail. How does that affect flight?

Now the alien themself

My first reaction was that someone fused a person and a deer together. The creature had a head and shoulders and arms that were more or less where they should have been, though the skin was a pale shade of blue. But below that he had fur, a mix of blue and tan, covering a four-legged body that really did look like it belonged to a deer, or maybe a small horse. He ducked his head out of the doorway and I could see that even the fairly normal-looking parts of him weren't all that normal. For a start, he had no mouth, just three vertical slits. And then there were his eyes. Two of them were where they should have been, although they were a glittery green color that was kind of shocking. But the real shock was the other eyes. He had what seemed like horns, only on the top of each horn was an eye. The horns could move, twisting to point the eyes front and back or up and down. I thought the eyes were bad, until I saw the tail. It was like a scorpion's tail, thick and powerful-looking. On the end was a wickedly curved, very sharp-looking horn or stinger. It reminded me of the alien's spaceship. It had seemed kind of cute and harmless, till you noticed the tail. The alien seemed kind of harmless at first glance, too. Then you saw the tail of his and you thought, Whoa, this guy could do some damage if he wanted to. (p. 13-14)

He knelt beside the Andalite and placed a comforting hand on the alien's narrow shoulder. (p. 19)

Then a sixth hand, different from ours, with too many fingers. (p. 25)

Visser Three walked confidently toward the wounded Andalite. The Visser seemed so much like the Andalite it was hard to tell them apart at first. (p. 34)

Ok, I know I wasn't expecting Jake to use the word cute; twice during his descriptions of anything relating to the Andalites. I don't know just cute didn't feel like a word Jake was going to use from what I knew of him.

Anyway there are some subtle foreshadowing into the nature of the Andalites that we get in these descriptions. I'm sure that for the intended audience it probably flew over their heads. If you know what that foreshadowing is you know it.

But I like how Jake doesn't notice everything about the Andalite upon first seeing him. He didn't at first notice the mouth was off and the horn eyes had been hidden out of sight until the alien came out of the spaceship. Then there is the fact that we don't hear about Andalites having too many fingers until page 25 well after we got what was assumed to be all the important details pages ago. It leaves a nice opening to add more little details later if needed.

Also, I like the detail that it is hard to tell the Yeerk controlled Andalite apart from the non-Yeerk controlled Andalite.

Though the tail blade; are they born with that? Does that come in later like teeth? Are they live birth or hatch?

But also we get to see how fast that tail blade can move on page 37.

His tail whipped up and over, so fast you couldn't really see it. The Visser twisted his head aside. The Andalite's tail blade missed the Visser' head by a bare half inch. But it sliced into his shoulder. Blood - or something like blood - sprayed from the wound. (p. 37)

The tail blade really isn't just for show. How would the series of turned out differently if he hadn't missed? But also, Jake what do you mean something like blood? Is Andalite blood different in some way or did you not want to assume that it was blood like Earth creatures have?

Also, the Animorphs TV show was never able to do an Andalite tail blade battle justice.

And hey let's go to the other aliens the not as friendly ones for the kids.

First, we only get a little thing for what the Yeerks look like.

Suddenly a bright picture popped into my head. I saw a gray-green, slimy thing like a snail without its shell, only bigger, the size of a rat, maybe. It wasn't a pretty picture. (p. 17)

Only a mental projection of what a Yeerk looks like because as we've been told, the Yeerks have to live inside of another being. We won't get a proper look at one for a while.

Then we get the two types of ships that the alien invaders have.

Slowly the Bug fighters descended. It was easy to see where they'd gotten their nickname. They were slightly larger than the Andalite fighter and shaped like legless cockroaches. There were small windows like eyes on the forward-thrust head of the bug. And on either side of the head were two very long, very sharp, serrated spears. (p. 27-28)

The larger ship began to descend. I don't know what it was about that ship, but as it got closer I started to feel like I couldn't breath. I tried to suck in a deep lungful of air and couldn't. I tried to swallow and couldn't. I wanted to run, but my legs were jelly. I was shaking from a fear so deep it was like nothing I'd never experienced before. It was the same fear that the Andalite has shown when he'd realized Visser Three was coming. The ship settled toward the ground. It looked like it was going to land directly on a big rusted earthmover parked there. But as the Visser's ship descended, the earthmover just sizzled and disappeared. Visser Three's ship was built like some ancient weapon. It reminded me of one of those battle-axes the old-time knights used when they were hacking off the heads of their foes. There was a main part, like the handle of the ax, with a big triangular point on the front. That part had to be the bridge. At the rear were two huge scimitar wings. It was eight or ten times the size of the Bug fighters. (p. 28)

I like the descriptions for both of these ships. Not only are they also clearly alien but they are set apart from the cute almost harmless Andalite ship. Both are bigger than the Andalite's ship and they look like a threat. Jake doesn't have a single moment that he thinks of them as cute and potentially harmless.

I also like just the way that the ship that they make the Blade Ship, not sure what the official name of it is but that is clearly the name that Jake dubs it with here, on its own a threat. Jake hasn't seen the aliens yet, but just this large overwhelmingly big ship is freaking him out. Also, being destructive just for the sake of it already. They didn't have to destroy that earthmover, but they did.

Next up are the Hork-Bajir.

They leaped from the ship, whirling and thrusting and slicing the air -- creatures that looked like walking weapons. They stood on two bent-back legs and had two very long arms. On each arm there were curved horn-blades growing out of the wrist and elbow. There were other blades at their bent-back knees, and two more blades at the end of their tails. They had feet like a Tyrannosaurus rex. But it was the head that got your attention -- a neck like a snake, a mouth that was almost a falcon's beak, and, from the forehead, three daggerlike horns raked forward. (p. 29)

The Hork-Bajir Controllers are just showing off their mobility it feels like. There is no need for whirling guys. You're just showing off.

But it does paint a nice picture that these guys look fierce and until you know more about them you are probably going to be more in agreement with the human kids initial reactions. Why would you need to pity something that looks like a walking killing machine? Which is again, a nice little detail. They look dangerous but we are told by the Andalite to pity them.

Also, there are like one Hork-Bajir in the TV Show and barely moved. If you watched the TV Show you would not realize that these are are supposed to be fast and agile.

And now the final alien that I want to talk about; the Taxxons. They never made it into the Animorphs TV show (I think) and I can see why.

But our attention was drawn away by a new form that crept and slithered and shimmied out of the Blade ship. (p. 30)

They were like massive centipedes, twice as long as a grown man. So big around that if you tried to hug one, your arms wouldn't make it even halfway. Not that anyone would ever want to. They had dozens of legs that supported the lower two thirds of their bodies. The top third was held upright, and there the rows of legs became smaller, with little lobster-claw hands. Around the top of their disgusting, tubular bodies were four eyes, each like a wiggling globule of red Jell-O. And at the very end, pointing straight up in the air, was a round mouth, ringed by hundreds of tiny teeth. (p. 30)

Jake doesn't know about the monster-fuckers. But on a more serious note, these are the aliens that the Andalite says are evil and well most humans are probably going to agree based on that description. Giant bug for most people aren't going to invoke a positive reaction. And it is clear that these are some sort of predator. You might not know their hunting patterns yet but these guys are clearly dangerous.

[sillygoofyqueer]

DEITY JESTER WEI WUXIAN AU. AUGH. AGHGHAH. I need him. In my life. Pretty baby freak. Sorry guys, I'm super mega insane. I was supposed to write this last night but I got extremely distracted binge watching Gravity Falls (wow. Holy shit, y'all. Wildly great stuff right there). Also I'm sorry it's so short, I am feeling BURNT OUT!!! WOOO!! Master is content with the information Wei Ying has gathered throughout the...he doesn't understand time, but it has apparently been a 'while' since Master drew him out of the forest. Scrolls and books and letters that all went mysteriously missing from the desks of those who smile and laugh when he performs for them - Wei Ying likes performing. People clap and chuckle and shake their heads as he dances and trips and falls all for their entertainment. He truly cares not when the normal sized humans enjoy it, but when the tiny humans come running up to him after he has bowed low and ducked off out of the big room with the big sparkling chair. They are not supposed to be near the big room while there are many people inside it, but they tell him that they wanted to see him perform as well, because they find him 'funny'! Master does not know how much time he spends being dragged around by these tiny humans, their protectors watching with careful eyes despite how they hide behind their fans and kind smiles.

Wei Ying learns much more about humans in this position than he ever had living amongst them. He doesn't truly understand or care about what they whisper and scheme about, that's not what he learns about, but he does follow in his predecessor's footsteps of venturing out of the big castle into the villages closest to it. Master labels them as the 'common people' but there doesn't seem to be anything 'common' about them, not with how they approach everything with strange optimism and happiness despite the apparently ruinous situation that Master says they're trapped in. They're so vibrant and full of life, a forest filled with healthy trees that even have their own melodies created through different 'instruments'; he is fascinated by these things, barely able to be dragged away if he catches a human playing one. A few of the humans find his fascination amusing, saying that he never used to be so interested, much more focused on the drinks in the tavern than the tavern music itself, and then offer to teach him the instruments they seem to play so easily.

Master catches Wei Ying practicing on one of these instruments, strumming this stringed....thing....and decides that he has been too idle. If he has time to learn the 'commoners'' instruments, then it's more than high time to move onto the next phase of his plan to "save the kingdom," meaning that he starts ordering Wei Ying to go about killing those that frequent the castle. Despite him pretending to be human, he is still a being incomprehensible by most creatures, so it means nothing to him when he starts luring people away from crowds with exaggerated gesturing and shiny things that seem to grab their attention just as much as it would grab a crow's. He doesn't exactly know what these things are, but Master hands them to him and then gives him a specific person to kill, so he can only assume that they are things that the humans really desire.

At first, it means nothing to him. It is easy to snap their necks and then offer their bodies up to the forest for sustenance, and he does not question his Master's decisions or choices. Then people start noticing these missing individuals. It starts small, with idle questions and passing comments between the lurkers of the castle, but it starts spiralling with each death. Quiet whispers, nervous glances, and even announcements about staying safe and promises to find out about these missing individual (they never do). It makes it harder to lure people away, but nobody suspects the jester who continues to come into the castle and offer entertainment despite the danger currently popping up. Not even the guards think twice when he gestures for them to follow him in a panic, pointing to the back of the garden where nobody can see them and nobody can hear them. Master keeps rewarding him, giving him more time with his precious fabric, so he keeps snapping necks, but it becomes harder as he watches the small humans cling to the large humans, crying about a monster.

He is not a monster.

If Wei Ying tries to question Master's choices with a tilted head, unable to speak, the melody is simply played until he cannot do anything but what Master wishes of him - until. Until Master turns to him and tells him that he has to strike down two of the tiny humans that cling to the fabric of rather sparkly large humans. Wei Ying cannot kill the tiny humans, and even though it feels like he is being torn apart when he goes against the melody, he stands there unmoving. He cannot remove his mask, but he is certain Master can feel his eyes boring into him. To his surprise, Master yields, and tells him to instead kill the sparkly large humans that the tiny humans cling to. The tiny humans would be sad, but it's better for them to deal with that than to lose their own lives, so Wei Ying goes and grabs the sparkly humans' attentions to lead them away from the tiny humans and snap their necks in a hidden room, tucking them away into the rafters.

When Wei Ying goes back to check on the small humans, he finds that Master has turned to someone else to kill them. The tiny humans are dead. There is crimson blood everywhere. The monster turns to him but they do not get a chance to say anything before he lunges forwards and rips them apart, a shadow of the creature he once had been.